I Refuse to Review Luke Bryan's New Single

I’m not going to do it. I’m not going to write an article about how bad and non-country the new Luke Bryan song Light It Up is. I’m not going to write that the hip-hop drum beat and half rap singing is equivalent to shit going directly into my eardrums. I’m not going to give in and write hate reviews for music that is terrible, like Dean Brody’s god-fucking-awful Beautiful Freakshow. I apologize to anyone who was hoping for me to write things like: how is it possible that Kesha can release more country songs on her last album than Sam “my shitty song has been number 1 for what seems like a god damn century” Hunt?

As much as I want to, I won’t point out that the guys I mentioned above (Luke Bryan and Dean Brody.. not Sam Hunt) have great songs in their musical history like Tackle Box and Up On The Moon respectively, so I do not have blind hatred for them. I’m not going to make the point that it’s actually quite the opposite – I don’t hate these artists for selling out, I’m just disappointed because I am such a huge fan of some of their quality older music. Also, I definitely will not end by saying that all I want is for pop country to live on its own musical island and stop comparing itself to actual country music.

I won’t do this because you all already know it.